Back to Work

Originally, I had planned on going back to work after Christmas break but a few weeks ago I decided that I would go ahead and go back for semester tests since it's only two days and then a long break.  I figured it would give me time to get some things done in my room and have things ready for the new semester.  Never in a million years would I have thought I would be going back after such a tragic event that happened the Friday before.  I honestly can't even wrap my head around what happened.... I just don't understand how anyone could take a life of another and several babies at that??  To me they are babies... my 6th graders are still babies... In fact, it doesn't matter if you are in college or married, you will always be someone's baby and that is what I try to think of when I teach these kids every day.  Sure, they might be ornery at times... it's middle school... but that ornery little kid is someone's baby.  When I send my babies off to school one day I want them to feel safe, loved, and respected so that is exactly what I want to provide for my kiddos.  It's sad that we live in a world where we have to wonder if our kids are safe in school or if I'm safe in my classroom while I'm at work.  There are two things that I completely disagree with that people get on soap boxes about when things like this happen - I get really annoyed with the people that say "guns kill people."  People kill people.... CRAZY, psychotic, LOST people kill people.  It has nothing to do with the gun... let's be honest.  If you are that insane, you will find a way and a gun.... it doesn't have to be sold to you.  In fact, you better believe I am getting my concealed weapons permit the first of the year.  I have two babies at home and I will know how to protect us if need be.  The second thing - everyone that keeps saying this happened because God is taken out of schools.  I for one wish more than anything we could have prayer in schools but there is no one taking God out of my work place.  Just because I can't legally pray out loud with my classes does not mean he is taken out.... God is with me every second I am in that school.  God doesn't stop looking after us when we enter the school... He is present with us at all times.  The only people taking God out of anything are the ones that shut him out of their life completely.  I am completely confident in knowing my God is more powerful than the government or any law.  

So, that is my two sense on that.  I pray that the victims families find peace in God and can get through these awful times.  I hate that this also happened right before Christmas.  May God be with each and every one of them.  I find peace in knowing they are in a MUCH greater place than any of us.  

Santa Clause!

I already posted about taking the boys to see Santa so I just wanted to post their pictures.... Love the way they turned out.... Such a perfect Santa!

We also went to Rogers this weekend for a Christmas party at my mother in law's house.  It was a lot of fun... Good food, good company, games, and little cousins playing. =)

Who could not love this happy little face?!

Harrison - 1 month

 

My baby bird is 1 month old... already!

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People always ask why I call him my bird... I've been calling him that since he was a day old in the hospital.  He would look up at me any time he was hungry and "peck" all over my face with his little mouth open.  It was the sweetest thing in the world and I just started calling him my baby bird.  He still does it and now that nickname has stuck.  He's my baby bird.

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You now weigh 9 lb 14 oz and your 21 3/4" long.  You were 7 lb 13 oz and 20 1/2" long when you left the hospital so you are really growing!!

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You are still wearing newborn clothes in most everything but a few things that are 0-3 months fit you now.  We have had to put a few of your newborn onesies away already because your feet push out the bottom of them... You are long and petite right now like your brother was.  You are in size 1 diapers.

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You are still sleeping quite a bit during the day.  You stay awake really well from about 10 am-2 pm and then you nap a lot, then you stay awake for the most part from about 6 pm-10 pm.  I usually feed you around 10 or 11 and you sleep until about 3 am and then you wake up to eat again around 6ish.  So you are really only waking up one time in the middle of the night and you go right back to sleep after you eat.  Your daddy and I joke that you aren't an easy baby because your brother was practically sleeping through the night at this point and was happily content in his swing during the day, but in reality you are such a perfect little baby... We were just beyond blessed with two!  You like to be held a lot... and by your momma in particular.  It's pretty safe to say that you are stuck to your momma like glue and I absolutely love it!!  

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Breastfeeding is going wonderful and thankfully you don't spit up hardly at all.  Your brother spit up a ton so it is kind of weird having a baby that doesn't.  I had to supplement a tiny bit when I was really upset about the testing because I wasn't producing as much milk and you didn't seem to like formula.  It was the only time you spit up and you made the worst face ever so I guess it's a good thing breastfeeding is working out.  It has created a bond between us that I can't describe.  Your daddy still wakes up with me and helps change your diaper or just to sit up with me most of the time.  He's an amazing husband and daddy and I pray you and your brother turn out a whole lot like him. :)

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Your brother absolutely adores you.  The first thing he says when he wakes up in the morning is "bubby" and he gives you tons of kisses.  He always makes sure you have your blankie and comes running to me when you cry.  He is very protective over you already... I can't even tell you how lucky you are to have him as a big brother.  Khloe also loves you a whole lot and is already very protective.  She sits up with us during feeding at night and she lays by your rocker when you are asleep in the living room.

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Your eyes are still really blue and they seem to be the very same color as mine right now.  Your hair is starting to get lighter and around the edges is super blonde but I still can't tell what color it is going to all come in.  Your eyelashes and eyebrows are extremely blonde, almost white.  You still have the most beautiful complexion. 

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 You rolled over during tummy time about a week ago but you haven't done that since.  I think it was a rare occurrence.  You do hold your head up so good though and you have been doing that before we even came home from the hospital.  You have started holding it up a lot more during tummy time lately.  You are already a strong little man.  The lady that did your testing said she could not believe how strong you were when you were pulling your arm away from her.  It looked like you were doing curls. 

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One of my favorite times with you is bath time and getting you all lotioned up and smelling so good and then cuddling.  However, you are not a fan of the actual bath.  You are getting better now that you are more used to it and putting your whale on you makes it a lot better.  The whale is like a very large rag that covers your body and it keeps you warm - I love it.  

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You love looking at the Christmas lights on the tree.  I sit and rock you right beside it every night and you would stare at those lights for hours.  You also like to sit by the tree in your bouncer and look at them.  I think you will be sad when we have to take the tree down.  We can't wait to spend our first Christmas with you and as a family of four!!  You met Santa for the first time a few nights ago... everyone kept saying you were such a beautiful little boy and that we could put a bow on you and you would be a pretty girl... your dad didn't like that too much! hehe

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You have blessed our lives more than I could have ever imagined and you have changed me so much in just the last 4 weeks for the better.  You are a very special little boy and we could not thank God enough for you.  We can't wait to watch you grow and see all of your little "firsts" like we did your brother. 

4 weeks old

Whew! What a week this has been, little boy!!  This week was partly consumed with the health scare and the rest was spent in pure BLISS that it's all behind us and we have a healthy baby boy.  I will never again take my kids health for granted and things that seemed so important to me before seem so silly now.  It's weird how God can change your heart in an instant.  I am also a little in shock that Harrison is already 4 weeks old and two days away from being 1 month old.  Time doesn't ever slow down, unless you are waiting at children's hospital, unfortunately.  I am going to wait and post his little stats on his 1 month post but I have to add some of my favorite pictures of the week and from last week since I missed his 3 week post (the weekly posts stop here btw if any of you were concerned with my sanity)... He is just so darn beautiful and I love him DEARLY!!!!!!

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 after bath time

 

 

I thought I found a paci that he would take - wrong.

 Loving his auto bouncer.. so cozy!

 beautiful boy <3

melts my heart

He has to lay on me pretty much all the time - rotten!

Family of Four Fun-ness

I realize "fun-ness" is not even close to being a word but I like it and it works.  So, tonight was by far the most fun I have had with my sweet family... it was just a perfect night!  We got the boys dressed in their cute little sorta matchy outfits... by matchy I mean they both wore red and white and had reindeer on them.  I think I made another word up, matchy, but that is fine.  Anyhow, we got them all dressed and looking super cute and went to see Santa at Virgila Dale's studio.  She has a really awesome set up with Santa and all the proceeds go to Autism Speaks which is a great cause.  They got a picture with the elf and one with Santa.  Christian was all about going to see Santa... in fact, he said Santa approximately one million times on our way there.  He seemed fine being around Santa and was really excited UNTIL the moment Corey placed him on his knee.  That was all she wrote, folks!  He grabbed on to Corey with a death grip all while Harrison was snoozing away in Santa's arms! haha  We settled for a picture with Santa holding Harrison and Christian setting in front of the fireplace looking up at him.  I'm sure it will be super cute!  When the picture was over, Christian took his candy cane from Santa, thanked him, and got the heck out of there! lol  That boy cracks me up.  Then, we headed to Creekmore park to see the lights and ride the train.  Holy cow the line was RIDICulous!!  Apparently the train broke down for a bit so it made the line even more insane than usual for a Saturday night... let me add THE Saturday night that all the Christmas parades were also going on.  We sure picked the best night to take the fam out!! LOL  We ended up having a great time without the train and we are going back on Tuesday to ride it.  We strolled around the park and looked at the lights.  It was our first time to take the double stroller out... That thing is large and in charge. =)  Christian loved the lights and didn't make a peep because he was in awe of them.  I got teary eyed as we strolled around there just thinking about all the blessings God has given me.  I am so undeserving of this life but I am very thankful.  After the park we went to Sweetbay and had dinner... I forgot how much I love their sandwiches.  They are great!  When we got home, it was time to get everyone ready for bed and now we are just relaxing... Nights like these are the best and absolutely priceless!!!

 

Don't be afraid....... Isaiah 41:10

There is really three parts to this.... Before you read this post read the other ones first or it will not make sense.  Here are the links in the correct order: 

1st one - http://iovinellis.blogspot.com/2012/12/newborn-screen-nightmare.html
2nd -  http://iovinellis.blogspot.com/2012/12/sweat-test.html


After waiting a very long time they finally put us in a room to see the doctor and go over the results.  This is the part that I have been running through my head over and over for the past two nights.... all night.  I tried to prepare myself for the worst.  When the doctor came in I almost lost it... I was shaking and crying.  He probably thought I was crazy.  He shook our hands and was introducing himself and all I wanted to do was scream, "GIVE ME THE RESULTS!!"  He sat down and said just like he thought, it was negative and we have a healthy baby boy... no worries.  I threw my hands up and said PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!  I have never in my life been so relieved, happy, emotional, and GRATEFUL.  Corey and I just looked at each other with the biggest smiles on our faces ever.  He let us know that it was very common for the newborn screens to get a false positive and they see this all the time and in most all cases it ends up being negative.  I can't even explain the feeling I felt in my heart and all over when I found out the great news.  I will say.... my heart has always broken for families that have to go through having a very sick child or a loss of a child, but much much more now.  Also, children's hospital has the friendliest staff but that is an extremely sad place and I would be just fine with never having to go back, Lord willing.  Last, I have never felt so close to God.  It makes me want to witness for Him so much knowing that there is no way I would have held it together without Him right there with me.  It saddens me more than anything to know that there are many people out there that do not experience that because he is not in their heart.  I think witnessing is one of the things I struggle with the most as a christian and I hope this situation makes that easier for me.  The devil was working on me hard this week and I feel so good that he was defeated.  No matter how sad or upset I got, I honestly can say I was never mad.  I was never asking God "why" because I knew that He knew the reason and that was good enough.  The verse that really got me through the day was the one I posted to my facebook wall this morning: 

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you! Don’t be frightened, for I am your God! I strengthen you, I help you, I uphold you with my saving right hand! -Isaiah 41:10

We are so blessed to serve an all mighty God!!!!

Sweat Test

So here we are... Waiting at Arkansas Children's Hospital as I write this.. I have wanted this day to hurry and get here and dreaded it more than anything all at the same time. We want closure - whatever the outcome may be. I have been on my knees since the day I got the phone call and at this point I have complete faith that God knows what the outcome is and what it means for our family. How do people go through struggles and pain without Him?? If it wasn't for our faith I don't know how we would have got through this.

Harrison just had the sweat test done a few minutes ago and now we are waiting on the results. The test was not bad at all and he did great. The sensors they put on his arms caused that area to sweat and then after the sweat was collected for 30 minutes it was sent off to the lab. His little arms were wrapped up in gauze and he had a hospital gown on... Talk about completely breaking a momma's heart! :( The lady that did the test went over the statistics with us... Again. I have heard the statistics about 10 times from different doctors and nurses this week and it doesn't matter that his chances of having it are only 1%.. That is the only number that I have thought about since finding out. It's not like he's being tested for allergies... Cystic Fibrosis is a "life shortening" disease and NOTHING in this world is worse than your child having any chance at all of having it, 1% or not.

I'm hoping the doctor comes in soon to give us results. I will say again, there is no way I could sit here and go through this without God by my side... I also feel so blessed to have the most amazingly supportive husband beside me. I think this has brought us even closer together. I have been a total wreck the past few days and it seems like the past few hours I have had a great sense of peace. I know everything is going to be okay... And I thank God for that.

One of the worst parts was seeing him in this little hospital gown with his arms wrapped up in gauze.  Beyond heartbreaking.

Newborn Screen = Nightmare

Harrison is 3 weeks old today!!  He had a doctor's appointment because his doctor was out of the office when he turned 2 weeks old.  Let me start off by explaining the worst phone call I've ever received in my life that happened yesterday.  Harrison's pediatrician called me to explain that his newborn screen was flagged for Cystic Fibrosis.  His IRT level was a little high - not abnormal though.  I'm not sure how familiar you are with CF but it is a life shortening disease and there is nothing good or promising about it in my opinion.... EXTREMELY scary and devastating.  He explained to me that the statistics of him actually having the diseases was 1-2% and that the IRT level can be raised for different reasons other than the baby actually having CF.  The abnormal level is 100 and his was only 60 so he said that they were really just being overly sensitive to it and they want to rule it out completely.  My heart sank.  I couldn't even keep it together on the phone.  I could tell he felt so bad for me and he tried really hard to calm me down and assured me that he was 99% sure that everything would come back negative and he would be a healthy baby just like we thought.  Well, all I could think about was that 1%.  The last thing on earth you want is for your baby to be sick and well, this is much more serious than that.  All I could do was cry and pray.... I prayed harder than I've ever prayed in my life.  I am a firm believer in the power of prayer... I know there is no way I can get through this without God.  I prayed for his will and that he would give me strength no matter the outcome.  I know that there is probably a reason we are about to go through this struggle and that He will get us through it.  I called Corey and explained it to him and he was pretty calming... he made me see the optimistic part of it and how small the chances are he actually has it.  I felt better about it for a whole 5 minutes maybe and then it was back to crying.  All I could do the rest of that day and night was hold Harrison as tight as possible and stare at him praying.  

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So here we are today and we had his check up.  He has went from 7 lb 4 oz when we left the hospital to 8 lb 9 oz!  His doctor said everything looked perfect and his weight gain was great... this made me especially happy since breastfeeding is going so great and I really want to continue.  He talked to us about the newborn screen much more in detail.  He also made us an appointment to go to Arkansas Children's Hospital on Thursday to get a sweat test done.  They will collect sweat from little H and test it for chloride levels.  They refer to this test as the "gold standard" test for CF and it will either show that he has it or rule it out completely - there will be no more questions at all.  I'm still terrified and extremely depressed.  Yes, I have faith that God will get us through this but that doesn't make it easy by any means.  I am thankful they were able to schedule us in just two days so that we don't have to go on a long time wondering what the outcome will be.  We will also find out the results before we leave there.  We are keeping this very personal until after we get our results - which is why I will not be posting this until then.  This blog is really therapeutic for me and I also love going back and reading memories in our lives.... good or bad, there is a reason that everything happens and I want to be able to come back to this one day.  We just don't want everyone knowing and asking questions right now because honestly it's just too hard for me to even talk about.  I will be spending a lot of time with God to give me strength.  I have to be strong for both of our little boys.  Corey is my rock and has been so comforting through this.  I guess I will be posting on Thursday the outcome of this terrible nightmare.